GAGGED, SMOTHERED + COVERED
Wow… like… What the f**k just happened? lol
Right now… It’s December 18 and I’m sitting in the corner of Switchyards Decatur.
We are 8 days into my 31st revolution, 27 days post work panic attacks and crying in nurse titties; 22 days after submitting my resignation notice, 16 days past my last team meeting, 2 days til my last paycheck, and 15 minutes post exit interview… and bayyy-beeeee, I think it’s safe to say “we’re done here” lmao I’m ready to move on lol
This year has been… how do I say… pivotal? Reflective? Expansive? All of the above?
First of all shout out to the community that I have cultivated over the past year!! I am insanely grateful to the new and old relationships I tended to this year and I can’t wait to share more sweet space with you all. <3 <3
Tatiana just left; we were chatting away about how much we have learned this year. What we’ve learned about ourselves, what it looks like to care for each other while working in extractive spaces, our personal limitations and boundaries when it comes to offering our passions as services.
And I must say, it was nice to summarize the year with someone. To be able to attest for the growth that was achieved by the collective, and be affirmed of your hard work... Is this what community is? Hmm… (So grateful to her lol)
Say Hi Tatiana!
I swear I’ve said a million and one good-ass, mmm-*snaps-*ass-phrases in passing to encapsulate the lessons I lived and learned this year, but right now all I can say is “Thank you, dear God, I thank you.”
Yes, I have experienced the beautiful things in life: Nature, Love, Family, Travel, Cooking, Friends, Laughter, Teaching, Gardening, Arting, Collective Grief + Action…
But when I tell youuuuuu! The growth! The barriers broken, the mindsets that have been laid to rest!? God did that. The Ancestors DID that! AND I DID THATTTT!
Little did I know where I would be when the year began… that I would have sat at tables, strutted into and commanded rooms. That I would take on the titles of Teacher + Home Owner…
For as long as I can remember my prayers have included a passionate request for deliverance, and this time I can finally see my destination.
The way God has emboldened and solidified me this past year is astonishing. I’m hoping 2025 gives me time to sit in this new body, to marinate in this upgraded sauce recipe. For I am ready to steep babes.
2023 was unknowingly about expanding capacity and softening the self. It seems 2024 was centered around accepting the next form + occupying the mold. And perhaps 2025 will be about tending to the new thing(s)? Hmm…
As I scroll through my hoard of videos and pictures from the year (and beyond), in a desperate attempt to recap that GAG of an experience, I have noticed a few things…
I am a determined individual lol.
I am surrounded, absolutely SURROUNDED by love that can not be denied or go unreflected
I have lived parts of this year (and others before) willingly sporting glasses of delusion. (crazy work)
I have, no had, a habit of being slow to give myself credit for the things that I have survived and achieved. (also crazy work)
I struggle with the concepts of humility, confidence and arrogance. (think piece coming soon lol)
I am destined for more. And everything I have experienced is preparation for my final form. (Preparing my Place anyone!?)
I am very good at finding what makes me feel good and I have been practicing prioritizing those practices for a long time. (longer than I often give myself credit for)
Showing up is my super power.
I am living the life I prayed for.
Looking back from where I stand now, I can see so clearly how this year was needed for me to finally see my reflection for what it is.
Clarity is vital for the next chapter of my journey and I truly believe I am passing the test!
(the results are in y’all, the report cards are here! And it’s giving top of the class, no absences, all extracurriculars PURRRR)
So how did the year go for real… (quick recap, brain dump style - In depth journal blogs coming in 2025)
January - We started of real strong in Jan. hitting our goals! Journal says “ We entered the new year with a clean house, full heart, and open expectations.” My husband and I visited my great grandmother, took a trip to Florida to bring in his 30th revolution, I was working 2 (3) jobs, I admitted that daily journaling was not for me lol; I was attempting to journal physically but quickly realized my life was moving too fast and that I need to vlog on the go (this was a great idea); The cat had her first heat cycle - LORD IT WAS HARRRD; And I jumped back into the swing of things so quickly I had to schedule a spiritual reset for the weekend entering February LOL (refer to opening screenshot)
February - Sweetness was refilled. Family, food, love and travel were all on the menu this month. Lee and I traveled out of the country as a couple for the first time. We spent a day exploring London, spent Valentine’s Day in Paris and Kissed (capital ‘K’) in front of the Eiffel Tower. We took a train across borders and slept in a canal boat in Amsterdam. My family gathered for the first time in longer than preferred in the town of Bromley, UK to support my little sister in her opening night performance of Clueless. I continued to juggle 2 (3) jobs and being inspired by the youthful spirits around me. Lots of plants, Lots of food, Lots of black love and excellence.
March - Another international flight was had. This is the month that I think I accepted my reflection for the first time. The girls went to Mexico to celebrate Chloe’s 30th birthday. It was epic, lol. There was a yacht, cenotes, multiple zip lines, swimming with sharks, tacooos and plenty of Sexxy Redd blasting in the Cancun streets. Before this trip, I beefed up my wardrobe with some goodies from my pals vintage shop, Shout out to Maraki and Vintage Village Shop! Of course I was still doing in-school lessons and working with the students at TAG, but this month I felt beautiful… and a little bit dangerous, teehee.
April - If the year was a Hot Wheels race car track, April was the part of the track that put the “HOT” in “Hot Wheels”. Life absolutely began to expand in a way I could have never expected. My friend Tay moved into her own apartment (I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T!). My grandmother was hit by a truck (she is totally fine btw) !! I found community and solace at a place called ‘Yes, Please’. I offered herbal blends at a fund raiser for Palestine, and met some great humans. This month I was filled with collective grief for Palestine and the impact of global imperialism, I took part in what I could to water those seeds. We started looking for a house! I was gardening, teaching full time and absolutely feeling it, lol. Life truly was folding in on itself in the most intriguing way. A fortune teller filled with destinies and blessings I had requested and long forgotten in the divine design process with God.
May - In May we found a realtor, a house and closed in 30 days (still processing this tbh). My 2 (3) jobs, lightened up to 1 (2). This month was very wheels to the ground as we closed out the school year at both of my teaching jobs. I remember this month going by so so quickly, and being filled with so much mundane beauty. The purchase of a house was something that I was not expecting, let alone for it to happen so quickly! I definitely smiled more than I cried. Oh! The cat got fixed! (Praise the Lord!) TLDR: May was a full blown adulting month! A realtor was involved!
June - By the start of June I had attended a teacher’s conference at the High Museum, we were under contract for a house and completing inspections. We got he keys to our house and started moving in IMMEDIATELY. I jumped 2 feet into home maker mode and I loved it, lol. (Based on my foot flare up, I may have jumped too hard LOL) Work wise, I was fully working with Wylde Center and hosting workshops for GaTECH via Cali Rose Co. (Cheers to business revenue!) I spent a lot of time running errands, handling tasks, and vlogging along the way… Scrolling through my photo hoard, I can tell this month was very dense and sweet. Like a thick slice of poundcake… with the frosting drizzled on top. Oh! I also won a give away to Attire Rotation, a big ass pop up clothing swap event. I can’t wait to cook up the vlog for this day, it was so much fun!
July - Moving, Gardening (broke ground on the Homestead), Working sweetly, home making. Celebrating Taylor’s birthday, Getting free bedroom furniture from Canton, GA. Linking up with old friends. Offered my services to a raffle for Palestine and someone won! I was deep into organizing energy and settling in to the new chapter. I saw a brigade of Apache Helicopters, and met more of Lee’s extended family. I was able to pay off my credit card debt (Thank you Nene!) and I cooked (more than I remembered)! I always forget how many meals I’ve made until I look back at all of my photos.
Aug - August was the month that old chapters were ending, and new chapters were beginning. My pal Chloe moved to NYC, so the gals spent a lot of time together (so grateful for this). I had a mini housewarming with the gals, and I think it was the first time I’d ever hosted something at my house?? A home that I own!? Someone won another raffle for my Interiors Services, loved doing that! I hosted a watercolor workshop for Wylde Center (it was fun BUT more on that later… lol). Most significant to me this month was making my grandmother our roommate and moving her from Gulfport, MS to Atlanta, GA… over night. That same month our lease ended at our rental and we had to be packed up, shipped out, and cleaned up. Yall think I got the deposit back??
Sept - This was the month that Hurricane Helene came through the south east and devastated a lot of areas. Our basement ended up getting about an inch of water, and a crawfish walked in the back door. Our gutter gave way up front, and we had to prop it up on some hillbilly shit (so glad we don't have an HOA). In September I spent time with family more than I expected to. We reunited my uncle and grandmother for her birthday. I cooked, I took bubble baths, I continued to settle into our new home… I participated in my first heart walk that was celebrating 100 years! Spent time gardening more, eating and cooking more. The school year had restarted so Farm to school lessons were a thing. Lots of moving in and settling in. Did my second watercolors workshop. Spent the day with Tay at the High Museum touring the Idyllic Space exhibit by Tyler Mitchell. That was so inspirational. Made my own laundry detergent… September was very lived in.
Oct - Used my big ass jars to make some fire cider at work. I was not interested in dealing with sick kids in 2025 (little did I know… lol) Went to my first Scott’s Antique market with Tay and met a chef there, hey Yana girl! The first Insatiable Dinner was had, and my glassware made a public debut being used to plate dinner on the tables (I am VERY proud of this moment). I became CPR certified and got a library card in the same day. Voted. Saw Juju Bae on her book tour at Yes, Please books. Taught more farm to school lessons. Got my first unprovoked Cali Rose Order for 2024! Woo hoo! Explored the beltline after brunch w bae. I picked up a weekly gardening gig on Sundays. And spent Halloween in NYC, seeing my sister perform in Teeth the Musical’s opening night. In October, the new chapter was new chaptering!!!
Nov - November began and I felt like I was living a glimpse of the life my heart has always wished for. We woke up in NYC on Nov 1, and partied the night away (Chloe those nails changed my life + your apartment is amazing!). Hubby and I went for a little urban hike to central park and Brooklyn bridge at night, this felt like a rom-com lol, very cute! Once we got back home from NYC I shared more spontaneous meals with loved ones. Lee and I celebrated our 11th anniversary on 11/11. (love ya babe!) I went back to the military base to see Lee’s cousin graduate. I sat in a $40 million helicopter, ate too much Korean food, went to a weird ass ball, and decided to quit my job. Yana’s second Insatiable Dinner warmed my belly and my soul. Took bae on a date to a hip-hop candle light concert (FYE!). Cooked the thanksgiving turkey + greens in our “Caucasian” kitchen. Pitched my workshops to GaTech’s sustainability dept. and slid into December knowing what needed to be done was done. November felt like it was about wrapping up loose ends and tending to the things that I want to experience more of in this next season of life. I like dat.
Dec - And here we are, the magical month of December! On December 1st I became a bridesmaid! December 2nd I worked my last day with Wylde Center, and my 1 (2) job went down to 0 (1), aka I was officially working for myself by December 3rd. The family went on a candlelight concert date. By the time the month started I was a week into my membership with Switchyards and loving it. I linked up with Taffney for a bite and a kiki; I sharpened up my business plans, and brought in my 31st chapter surrounded by love, joy, and delicious meals! I celebrated my friend’s 30th, ate sea bass, and am in full swing of manifesting the rich wife life. I reconnected with friends, and am currently going through the experience of processing the year. My conclusion: this year I inspired myself… Next year I’ll inspire the world!
Ok girl sooo now what…
If you have read this far you are a real one and I thank you dearly.
I have been wanting to make this blog for a looong time, and I am so glad I finally have the time to do it!
In 2025 I will not let the growth that I have accepted and acknowledged in 2024 be in vain. This is blog is meant to be many things… but I can already see that it is going to be a record of God helping me heal myself and the foundations of my bloodline. I know the idea of being ‘generational curse breakers’ sounds kinda funny and self righteous, but what if it’s true. What if that is what we have been working towards all these years between the wish and the manifestation…
If this is the case, I have to lock tf in and admit when it’s time for the next level. The cracks are sealed, the tools are up to date, the permits are in and the building budget is fully approved. What do you want this thing to look like for real??
I am elated to be a part of the creation process, as opposed to just experiencing the story. To be able to contribute to the next chapter + new world in a tangible way. What a gift…
So this blog is gonna be random, it’s gonna be insightful, archival… honest… and I hope that it is entertaining + helpful to you.
Please keep up with me on all the things…
Like, comment, subscribe…
cause I think I’m on to something here…
